One of the most prevalent feeling I’m dealing with right now is the feeling of being abandoned. Some days are good, others are not (you can guess what today is).
The feeling of abandonment is a hard one to shake, made worse by the fact that I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this. Sure, I could talk to my wife, but she has other things to worry about and she has less “free time” than I do.
Let’s face it, it is hard to stay positive when 1) potential employers have let the common curtsey of the rejection letter fall by the way side and 2) prayers go seemingly unanswered. 1) bothers me. 2) really bothers me. It seems that all I ever hear is bad news: no, you’re not eligible for unemployment; no, you don’t qualify for this kind of assistance; etc. Sure, there’s been a descent number of first interviews, but that’s about as far as it’s gone.
I am not the only one to feel this way. The Psalmist laments this same feeling, but yet trusts that in the fact God is there, that God has not abandoned and will not abandon him. Contrary to the Psalmist feeling (and mine) God is there:
1 My God! My God,
why have you left me all alone?
Why are you so far from saving me—
so far from my anguished groans?
2 My God, I cry out during the day,
but you don’t answer;
even at nighttime I don’t stop.
3 You are the holy one, enthroned.
You are Israel’s praise.
4 Our ancestors trusted you—
they trusted you and you rescued them;
5 they cried out to you and they were saved;
they trusted you
and they weren’t ashamed.
6 But I’m just a worm, less than human;
insulted by one person,
despised by another.
7 All who see me make fun of me—
they gape, shaking their heads:
8 He committed himself to the LORD,
so let God rescue him;
let God deliver him
because God likes him so much.
9 But you are the one who pulled me
from the womb,
placing me safely at my mother’s breasts.
10 I was thrown on you from birth;
you’ve been my God
since I was in my mother’s womb.
11 Please don’t be far from me
because trouble is near
and there’s no one to help.
12 Many bulls surround me;
mighty bulls from Bashan encircle me.
13 They open their mouths at me
like a lion ripping and roaring!
14 I’m poured out like water.
All my bones have fallen apart.
My heart is like wax;
it melts inside me.
15 My strength is dried up
like a piece of broken pottery.
My tongue sticks
to the roof of my mouth;
you’ve set me down in the dirt of death.
16 Dogs surround me;
a pack of evil people circle me like a lion—
oh, my poor hands and feet!
17 I can count all my bones!
Meanwhile, they just stare at me, watching me.
18 They divvy up my garments
they cast lots for my clothes.
19 But you, LORD! Don’t be far away!
You are my strength!
Come quick and help me
!20 Deliver met from the sword.
Deliver my life from the power of the dog.
21 Save me from the mouth of the lion.
From the horns of the wild oxen
you have answered me!
22 I will declare your name
to my brothers and sisters;
I will praise you in the very center
of the congregation!
23 All of you who revere the LORD—
All of you who are Jacob’s descendants—
All of you who are all Israel’s offspring—
stand in awe of him!
24 Because he didn’t despise or detest
the suffering of the one who suffered—
he didn’t hide his face from me.
No, he listened when I cried out to him for help.
25 I offer praise in the great congregation
because of you;
I will fulfill my promises
in the presence of those who honor God.
26 Let all those who are suffering
eat and be full!
Let all who seek the LORD praise him!
I pray your hearts live forever!
27 Every part of the earth
will remember and come back to the LORD;
every family among all the nations
will worship you.
28 Because the right to rule
belongs to the LORD,
he rules all nations.
29 Indeed, all the earth’s powerful
will worship him;
all who are descending to the dust
will kneel before him;
my being also lives for him.
30 Future descendants will serve him;
generations to come will be told
about my Lord.
31 They will proclaim God’s righteousness
to those not yet born,
telling them what God has done.
(Psalm 22, CEB)